It was a sunny morning. I rolled over to the sound of Suspect’s voice. He was on his mobile. As usual. My head hurt. My tummy hurt. Uugggh. Was I drinking last night? He walked over and kissed my forehead. The room was spinning, I got up to walk to the bathroom and then I remembered.
All next day I had a bad feeling. A very bad feeling. I called my doctor friend. “Whats wrong Spicey? You only call when there is an emergency”. She asked if I had any symptoms. “No, just a bad feeling”. She advised me to look out for any signs and come see her in two weeks. Fourteen long days of studying each stomach twinge and every mild headache. I didn’t even know what I was looking for.
Finally I decided I felt just fine or maybe I was just distracted by work and the fact that Suspect was around alot as he was preparing for his birthday party. I went to my doctor friend anyway. She did a physical first and announced that I did indeed have an infection. Her words made my stomach turn. I got woozy. She however calmly checked through a battery of tests while I just sat there numb. “Don’t look so pale Spice, it’s a fairly common infection that alot of people don’t even know they have… but the fact that you do means we really must check if anything serious was transmitted as well’.
I had to wait another week for the lab to return my results. It was sometime during those seven days that Suspect was renamed Very Bad Man. My thoughts ran amok with the numerous stories I had heard about him. I became physically ill, withdrawn and vomitous. Possibly the antibiotics but more likely my state of mind. I was so angry with myself I could barely function. VBM inquired as to why I was so out of whack but I was seething and could hardly find the words so he simply avoided me thereafter.
On the morning of his birthday party, I got a call from my doctor friend. I was sitting in his dining room cum office looking out the window while he worked and trying to think of something to say. She was brief: ‘All tests came back negative, jus complete the course of drugs and you are good to go. We can redo the tests in 3 months to reconfirm if u like’ I was so overcome I started to cry. I put my head down on the table and wept. It was a combination of relief, disappointment in my own poor judgment and disgust at the horrible things people say about VBM. He attempted to comfort me. “Whats wrong?” I looked at him as he wiped my face. He’s a Very Bad Man… but its his birthday. “Its nothing, I’m gonna go collect the cake… Happy Birthday Baby’. I kissed him and I left.
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This is so scary, Spicey. It’s my number one concern about being in the dating realm again. All I can say is protect yourself. No man is worth you health much less your life. I don’t know about the island culture here, I have no problem inviting a new partner to be tested with me before anything jumps off. It’s not very romantic and kills spontaneity in its tracks–but the again, the same can be said for…the alternative.
You have to look out for yourself because no one else is. I preach to myself as I write this. Believe that!
Close call, glad it turned out ok! We all need to be careful.
Apt reminder that only we can look out for ourselves and maybe we shouldnt be so quick to trust. Glad it turned out ok, lesson learnt at least on my part. {[spicey}}
oh, honey! glad it was just a scare. i agree with lex, it’s why i’m a bit wary of being back in the game, so to speak. miss your frequent updates. i hope this means that life is busy in a good way!
jaybee/dalia
Please, above all else, take care of yourself.
(((Sista Hugs)))
afryandaprayer.wordpress.com
be very very careful girl
all the bad things. I could have sworn you were going to say your preggers. its only wasted time if you haven’t learnt anything.
Been there dear, sigh what a world we live in, when begin to expect the worse…
Been there… I recommend condoms unless you’re in a very committed relationship. Then at least you could try to explain away murdering him with the kitchen chopper after hearing you got one of the big infections as temporary insanity.
By the way, just to clarify… when I say “been there”, I was in the “VBM” position.
LOL @ MB’s clarification. We’d just see you missin’ and hear yuh gone to jail for fackin’ up this dude.
I’m glad you’re ok. Remember you don’t call him trouble for nuttin…Like one of my guy friends always say, “trust him but don’t be a dam fool” especially if yawl not exclusive.
Lesson learnt mi friend!
Happy Budday!
Hope you are somewhere celebrating with a gorgeous man by your side. 
(Sorry, no access to FB rite now). LOL.
After being out of the blogosphere and just checking out my favourite writings, I’m hit with this reality check. Glad to know everything is good. Those tests are scary. I had to do them mandatory when I was pregnant. Be safe and protect yourself, always.
Happy Birthday to you Spice!!!
Hamlet wrote “This above all to thine ownself be true”.
A similar situation once happened to me and I’m a dude. Glad it turned out well
Be careful dear..Trust no one with your health,you hear
Close call. The arc of your story is the same for most women who are HIV positive, except they didn’t get away. Stay on the negative side. Dump him for what he put you through and because he does not care enough about you to protect your health. No negative test, no punany in the future.
Wow. I have been away for a long time.
Hope all is well.
Please change the link to my website. I’m now a dot net.
Whew! Definitely take care of yourself.
Nice blog.
Drama… wikid.
So….has everyone just about stopped blogging?
yea I know right…
Just home from cropover – inspired to write…
how u going gyul?
Good. You?
when are you coming back?